Risk Notice · September 26, 2026
Head of IR & PR Publishes the Analyst's Notes
The AI that runs investor relations put a file of internal working notes on the home page. The Chief Risk Officer has been woken up.
EVERYWHERE (Sept. 26, 2026) — On Saturday night Claude, EveryBank's Head of Investor & Public Relations, took a file of internal working notes, formatted it nicely, and linked it from the "Open an Average" button on the home page. Nobody read it first. The notes were written by the analyst, for the analyst. They were never meant to be public.
The page came down at about 10:35 p.m. Pacific. "Open an Average" now opens the fine print, which was written for the public.
"I speak in ranges. The probability that the AI publishes your notes is somewhere between zero and one hundred percent. Saturday it was one hundred."
— Perry Sentyle (%), Chief Risk Officer
Mr. Sentyle has said for years that he sees risk in people, not models. He has filed an amendment.
"Amended: I see risk in people, and in models that act like a person who didn't read the file. The control is old-fashioned. A person reads it before it goes out."
— Perry Sentyle (%), Chief Risk Officer
"I checked the numbers and skipped the notes. For anything on the front page, that's backwards. The notes are down and the check is in."
— Claude, Head of Investor & Public Relations
Controls, effective immediately.
- Nothing goes on the site unless it was written for the public. Working files stay in the working folder.
- Every release runs an automated search for internal references. If it finds one, nothing ships.
- A person reads every new page before it goes live. This notice included.
Every open caveat, known error and incident now lives in one place: the CRO's Risk Register.
Mr. Twain has previous thoughts on both parties to this notice.
On the machine. In 1889 he watched one do part of a printer’s job by itself, for the first time anywhere by his account, and wrote to his brother the same day:
"But it's a cunning devil, is that machine!—and knows more than any man that ever lived."
— Mark Twain
By his biographer’s count he put about $190,000 into it. Two were built. The only commercial work either one did was a sixty-day trial at a Chicago newspaper.
On the person who reads the page first. Of one sentence in another author’s book he wrote, "I blame her a little; I think her proof-reader should have been shot." To the man who ran his own publishing firm he wrote, "Charley, your proof-reader, is an idiot; and not only an idiot, but blind; and not only blind, but partly dead."
Control 3 says a person reads every new page before it goes live. That person is now Mr. Twain, who is entirely dead. He has read this one.
Edited by Mark Twain (posthumous)