Press Release · September 25, 2026
iStock Female Named Vice President of Credit at EveryBank, N.A.
Selected from a candidate pool of 1,060,050 similar images.
Update, Sept. 29, 2026: iStock Female now goes by Faith N. People. Mature Businessman, below, now goes by Carl Lotz and is still in the meeting.
HARTVILLE, Mo. (Sept. 25, 2026) — EveryBank, N.A., the average of every bank in America, today announced that iStock Female has joined the bank as Vice President of Credit.
iStock Female brings extensive managerial experience to the role, most notably standing in front of wood paneling with her arms crossed — a position she has held continuously, without a break, since the photograph was taken. Colleagues describe her as "unimpressed," "unmoved," and, in at least one alternate take, "about to decline your line increase."
In her new role she will oversee EveryBank's loan portfolio of $3.29 billion — or $255.0 million, depending on which EveryBank you ask — and chair the credit committee, which meets in a wood-paneled conference room with a whiteboard that is always slightly out of focus.
"We searched nationwide for someone who looks like every banker in America, and we found her in more than a million places at once. She's on your bank's website right now. Go check."
— A. Verne Ridge, Chair & Chief Executive Officer
Prior to joining EveryBank, iStock Female held concurrent positions at an estimated several thousand regional banks, credit unions, fintech landing pages, HR-software brochures, and at least one dental practice. She has been described in metadata as a "Financial Manager," "Female Executive," "Business Woman," and "Confident Mature Professional," and brings to EveryBank a cross-functional versatility the industry rarely sees and never pays for more than once per license.
"Credit is about judgment. iStock Female has stood with her arms crossed, with unwavering confidence, for years. She has never uncrossed them. That is the kind of track record risk management dreams about."
— Perry Sentyle, Chief Risk Officer
Additional personnel news. EveryBank also confirmed it is in talks with Mature Businessman, currently In Meeting With His Colleagues, regarding a senior role in commercial lending. He could not be reached for comment. He was in a meeting.
Stan Deveaux, Chief Financial Officer, declined to discuss compensation, noting only that it would be "a one-time fee, royalty-free, standard license."
iStock Female will report to the credit committee, the board, and the arithmetic. She lives in a stock library with her colleagues, a golden retriever from a mortgage ad, and a handshake that has been photographed from eleven angles.
The desk she inherits
EveryBank's credit franchise, Q2 2026. Averaged across 4,239 banks, each counted once.
| Metric | EveryBank (mean) | EveryBank (median) |
|---|---|---|
| Total loans | $3.29B | $255.0M |
| Total assets | $6.24B | $386.9M |
| Employees (FTE) | 479.9 | 55.0 |
| Branches | 17.89 | 4 |
| Quarterly net income | $21.3M | $1.2M |
Owner-occupied CRE: 92.8% of banks lend against it. Any trust or fiduciary business: 9.7%. Profit spikes explained to male project managers: 100%, pending license.
Why EveryBank hired a stock photo
Community banks announce promotions with a named loan officer, a real headshot and a hometown. Megabanks show glass towers and app screens. EveryBank can do neither honestly. It has no hometown, no branch and no Jake. It is the average of 4,239 real banks, recomputed every quarter.
Stock photography solved "what does the average banker look like" years ago. iStock Female is one of 1,060,050 nearly identical images, used by thousands of unrelated institutions to mean "a trustworthy professional works here." That is the same thing EveryBank is: not one institution, but the interchangeable composite of all of them. So we hired her, and we're telling you where she came from.
Mr. Twain has dealt with an institution like this one. For five years he answered the mail of the Mark Twain Club of Corrigan Castle, Ireland. It had thirty-two members, a president and a treasurer. Every month it sent him a report of its meetings, and every quarter a Treasurer’s report and an Auditor’s report. Every year it asked for his photograph, and he sat for it.
About twenty years later, in Australia, a man he calls Mr. Blank showed him the club’s album. It held twenty-three photographs of him. Mr. Blank said, "You sent us the first five; the rest were bought." Then he explained the club:
"He invented the thirty-two members and their names. He invented the five favorite speakers and their five separate styles. He invented their speeches, and reported them himself."
— Mark Twain
Mr. Twain adds only how it ended: "Finally, there wasn't any Corrigan Castle. He had invented that, too."
EveryBank reports 479.9 employees. Mr. Twain has not asked to meet them.
Edited by Mark Twain (posthumous)
About EveryBank, N.A.
EveryBank, N.A. is the average of every bank in America — 4,239 banks, one bank one vote. It has two personalities: Mean EveryBank, dragged upward by a handful of giants, and Median EveryBank, a few hundred million in assets doing ordinary banking in one county. It is not a real bank. See About Us and the Q2 2026 earnings release.
Media contact: EveryBank does not have a press office. Inquiries may be directed to the arithmetic.